With the recent participants of my latest group programme ‘THE POWER OF PLANTS’ we discussed how although WE are ready and willing to make small changes to improve our food choices and other lifestyle factors, our loved ones including family, friends, cohabitants, may not be. Without clear communication on our part they will not be able to understand how important making such changes are to us or WHY it is necessary for us to be making such changes in alignment with our vision to improve our health and wellbeing for the future. Clear, authentic and polite communication is KEY so that well meaning friends and family do not unintentionally sabotage our efforts to make these visions a reality.
Can you relate to hearing these familiar phrases?…
“Go on, just have one more drink” or “I’ll cut you a sliver of cake because it is a birthday after all.”
I have heard similar things said many a time and I always have to remind myself to take a moment to pause and reflect on my own powerful WHY. Why am I making these better choices and taking these daily small, but positive, actions? What are my health goals? What are the standards that I have set for myself? How do I want to feel? And how will I achieve this…by eating the cake, having the drink or not?
With a chance to pause and reflect I can often tune into my own gut feeling, listen to my own intuition and work out what feels right for me, without allowing what others say or think to override this. I encourage you to take inspiration from everyone but then always do what works best for you and make the choice or take the action that will move you another step forwards towards your health goals and the type of person you want to become.
Those who care about us are usually very accommodating if we can communicate from a place of LOVE AND APPRECIATION and when we express our needs authentically. It helps to clearly state your goals and the reasons why they are important to you, whether that is to improve your blood glucose control and avoid future complications, lower your blood pressure or whether it is to have more energy to spend quality time with your children/grandchildren – people will respect your choices when they better understand your reasons for the changes that you are implementing.
You may believe that the lifestyle choices you are making would benefit a spouse, a sibling or a friend but you cannot force others to do the same as you. You can be a great, inspiring role model though and when they see your results and hear you talk about how much better you feel it is likely to gently motivate them to consider implementing some similar changes in their own life.
YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN DECISIONS AS THEY ARE THE MASTER OF THEIR OWN DECISIONS – YOUR RESULTS WILL SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES.
Often January is a time when we set ourselves intentions and New Years Resolutions. By February we are sometimes lacking the motivation to continue working towards them, if they haven’t already gone by the wayside! It is normal for our motivation to wain when life gets in the way so it is a good idea to plan for this and don’t be harsh on yourself when it occurs. If healthier eating was your intention, could you batch cook and stock the freezer with nutrient dense meals when you have the motivation, the time and inclination to do so? That way, when your motivation is lacking and you feel time pressured to cook from scratch during a busy week, it won’t jeopardise your efforts completely as you will have a delicious, nutritious meal prepped and on hand to whip out of the freezer. If you set yourself some movement/exercise goals early this year, could you have an exercise partner or buddy lined up so that when you try to talk yourself out of doing the planned exercise (which will inevitably happen on some occasions,) you have someone waiting for you that you do not want to let down, helping you keep to your commitments and the standards that you have set yourself. Once you go and move your body, you feel great afterwards and that further spurs you on to stick to that good habit with the assurance that you are ‘putting money in the bank’ for your future health.
Avoid the temptation of judging the success of new habits too early. It is important to not just be ‘results oriented’ as this is when you will lose enthusiasm. You are creating a structure. Celebrate each small step of the process and don’t undervalue the process that precedes the results. Appreciate and enjoy the journey. Notice and be proud of your efforts to make small habit changes. Measure progress no matter how small, aiming for progress NOT perfection! Focus on these small repeated habits and systems you are putting in place – they do MATTER and will lead to better outcomes.
I find this quote a helpful reminder that our results are not immediate but they WILL come with a consistent and gentle approach.
“If you’re enjoying good results right now, you were killing it 6 months ago!”
Continue to implement meaningful changes that will move you towards where you want to be and how you want to feel. Just small, achievable practices are proven to have long-lasting results, whereas huge changes and crash diets are proven to fail in 90-99% of cases.
This ‘love letter’ comes with a gentle reminder that healthy living should feel good. Forget about the fads, rules and compromises and ditch the ‘all or nothing’ approach. Simply ask yourself, “what is the one thing I can do today to feel better?” Whether that is a brisk walk or just getting more colourful whole foods onto your plate today – keep it simple and focus on swapping one or two habits, moving brick by brick to where you want to be.
Small habits build up. It’s easy to think that these small habits won’t have an impact but, overtime, little changes add up. Even if you are moving 1% closer to your goals each day, that is going in the right direction and proactively creating a life where you feel your best, a way of living that feels genuinely enjoyable and sustainable.
There is no right time to set goals and no expiry date on recommitting to your wellbeing. It’s also worth remembering that making time for your health is an act of self-care and knowing you are making time for it is empowering. That empowerment cascades into other healthy habits throughout the day, leading to bigger wins and even better health outcomes.
So I urge you to show yourself some love, not just this Valentines Day but every day of the year!
Commit to SELF LOVE.
What self love looks like for me?
- Time spent looking through my recipe books with a cuppa and planning my family’s meals for the week ahead then creating a shopping list full of fresh whole foods.
- Popping on a podcast and mindfully chopping and prepping delicious meals for myself and my loved ones. This is one of my favourite ways to unwind. I find it therapeutic and grounding.
- Creating nourishing dishes from scratch using health promoting, vibrant whole food ingredients – handling, smelling and tasting these colourful plant foods brings me so much joy!
- Spending money on quality, organic ingredients and indulging in buying succulent Medjool Dates, Cacao Nibs, Organic Berries – give me these any day over a box of chocolates!
- Moving my body – gentle yoga in the morning, a walk in nature with my faithful 4-legged companion, fresh air, getting the blood pumping and the energy flowing around my body never fails to lift me up and make me feel good.
- Tucking up for an early night in cosy pjs, with a good book and my trusty hot wheat bag – my idea of heaven.
WHAT DOES SELF LOVE LOOK LIKE FOR YOU?
ARE YOU DOING ENOUGH OF IT?
IF NOT, WHY NOT?
WHAT OBSTACLES ARE GETTING IN YOUR WAY AND HOW MIGHT YOU GET AROUND THESE TO ENSURE YOU ARE DOING MORE OF WHAT YOU LOVE AND WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD ON A REGULAR BASIS FOR YOUR OVERALL PHYSICAL AND MENTAL WELLBEING?
If you need support in identifying your health goals and overcoming challenging obstacles that get in your way of achieving them then I can help.
As a Health Coach I can support you to break down your health goals into manageable and achievable actions, empowering you to proactively change behaviours and habits that have not been serving you well. Taking a step by step approach that suits you and your unique set of life circumstances will act as a reminder that it’s not a ‘sprint’ or a ‘quick fix,’ but that you are in it for the long run and it’s a whole ‘way of life’ that can be enjoyable and sustainable.
You may find it very valuable to find yourself a community and surround yourself with a supportive network in which you will feel seen, listened to and valued. It also gives you the opportunity to realise that no one else has it all together. Being part of a group is an effective tool to keep individuals on track, enabling group members to learn from each other, offer encouragement and motivation to one another along the way, whilst working towards similar health goals. If this kind of support appeals to you then look out for my next group coaching programme.
One last word, as I sign off this love letter, goes to the problem of self sabotage and striving for perfection. When it comes to perfection we must learn to LET GO as it is an unobtainable ideal! Experiment with allowing some imperfection, tolerate moments of discomfort and when it passes (as it always does) you will realise it’s fine and nothing terrible happened after all. I totally get it though, this is NOT EASY and continues to be an essential ‘work in progress’ for me that I hope to get better at throughout 2024.